pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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