I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
