before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
