Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
