Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
