Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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