How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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