I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
