$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
