Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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