i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
