Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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