Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
