we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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