Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
