Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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