just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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