I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I think people are normalizing furries
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
