Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
