Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
