Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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