i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
