ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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