yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize