I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Boobs are out for the taking
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
