Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
