nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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