a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
