yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
