I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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