been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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