I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
