I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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