I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Randomize
