I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize