The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
