Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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