This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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