Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
