Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
