i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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