I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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