Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
