I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
