they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
