they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
