The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's never too late to be topless.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
