i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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