Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
