just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
