so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
