Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize