I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
