btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Walk of Shame today included voting.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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