Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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