I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
pop tarts are not kleenex
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
