Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so explain again why im purple
no
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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