BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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