he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
is wine microwaveable?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
