You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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