I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it wasn't lemon gatorade
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
