two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
