Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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