Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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